and its not good occurrence; that I have been fooling myself and others for many years now.

It has come to my attention this year, that for the last 10 or so I have been cheerful and happy at Christmas making sure people were happy, busy and doing all the right holiday things that would make them happy. Especially the ones who hated Christmas. Running to this party or that. Stroking myself on the back for giving hampers and volunteering my energy and time. All the while thinking I was having a great time and maybe doing some good. I guess I did a pretty good snowjob on all of us.

I haven’t had a good Christmas in so long, I forget the last one. So my apologies to all for being so hypocritical. I really really didn’t think I was being that.